Everything right now is starting to look more and more like New York City to me...
When I was in NYC, I didn't live there... I SURVIVED there. I ate shoe strings for breakfast, maybe got a cup of coffee... then maybe ate lunch depending on if I was working that day or just going to class. Then had a good ole' bucket o' ramen for dinner... yummy. This sounds appetizing I know... but ya know what's funny, the food is better this time, but the bills are worse.
Rent, Power, Cell, Cable (internet and such), Car Insurance, Back Debt, and things that are becoming back debt.... awesome.
it just seems to get so overwhelming sometimes
Monday, January 28, 2008
Saturday, January 12, 2008
More Updates....
updates updates updates.... I'm sure everyone needs this:
Ok, ok, so here is some more information for you people out there that actually read this...
So on the whole "new" girlfriend front... the only reason that new is in "" is because, well
it has been so long since I wrote in this that it is no longer a new thing...
Anyway, the name she goes by is Raven (yes as in the bird). Things have been going okay in that world... the only reason it is not fantastic is because everyone for the past few months has been far too stressed out. Other than that things are fine there. She breathes fire (one of the few female fire breathers on the east coast... but she also juggles and does other pretty awesome shit with it) and does all kinds of other nifty shit. Quite a talented lady I would say :-P. There is a lot more to say, but honestly it really is hard to put the connection we have into words.
So I believe I stated last time that Eric (aka Rocky) is my roommate now... which is good... he really needed to get out of his grandmother's house... his mother's side of the family is just messed up in ways that not many would really understand.... if not, well now ya know.
His current squeeze Amy is pretty cool, she stays here a lot. Some of the funniest shit comes out of her mouth.
The servers I have are still down... I got no money to pay the power bill so I am not going to try to make it worse on that front. As much as it pains me, just turning one on for a few hours is a few dollars that I really don't have.... but I'll get there eventually.
------------------
Things more recently have become more complicated.
- Eric has lost a lot of hours at work (still doing construction with our boss that we had over the summer)
- Eric's ex-wife is being a twat (yes, I am using that word as strong as it is implied) with child support and other things of that matter, making his life an absolute living hell... I feel bad for the shit he has to deal with... no, that is not pity, I just don't understand why she is doing it to him... she is still one of my friends, I knew her briefly in HS, and I lived with them when I was in NYC for a bit
- Raven's job is not steady enough to really provide any cash to the "house" fund.
- My job is just pissing me off... I really didn't want to have to rely on Radioshack... it just bugs me...BTW, Steve... I still love ya man, you were the only Radioshack manager that I would leave the company if you left... and I mean that.
- I have found other jobs more recently... possibly something in my field... the pay is okay .... one of the jobs is just building/repairing computers (the name of the place is called Seneca Data). Its fairly mindless from the description I got, but even still its at least something kinda nifty and the pay is right.... I just may do it, i have a few more things to think about before I make a jump like that... but I really need something more steady, NOT dealing with customers for a while. I just dont want to leave my current manager in a ridiculously hard place and I want to give as much notice as possible... i dunno... its hard to really figure out what I should do, but ultimately the decision is mine to make and I have to be concerned with my own well being... and everyone in the rest of my house.
... that pretty much sums things up for right now..
i suppose.
maybe more later
==Chevelle - Straight Jacket Fashon==
Currently playing in the background
Ok, ok, so here is some more information for you people out there that actually read this...
So on the whole "new" girlfriend front... the only reason that new is in "" is because, well
it has been so long since I wrote in this that it is no longer a new thing...
Anyway, the name she goes by is Raven (yes as in the bird). Things have been going okay in that world... the only reason it is not fantastic is because everyone for the past few months has been far too stressed out. Other than that things are fine there. She breathes fire (one of the few female fire breathers on the east coast... but she also juggles and does other pretty awesome shit with it) and does all kinds of other nifty shit. Quite a talented lady I would say :-P. There is a lot more to say, but honestly it really is hard to put the connection we have into words.
So I believe I stated last time that Eric (aka Rocky) is my roommate now... which is good... he really needed to get out of his grandmother's house... his mother's side of the family is just messed up in ways that not many would really understand.... if not, well now ya know.
His current squeeze Amy is pretty cool, she stays here a lot. Some of the funniest shit comes out of her mouth.
The servers I have are still down... I got no money to pay the power bill so I am not going to try to make it worse on that front. As much as it pains me, just turning one on for a few hours is a few dollars that I really don't have.... but I'll get there eventually.
------------------
Things more recently have become more complicated.
- Eric has lost a lot of hours at work (still doing construction with our boss that we had over the summer)
- Eric's ex-wife is being a twat (yes, I am using that word as strong as it is implied) with child support and other things of that matter, making his life an absolute living hell... I feel bad for the shit he has to deal with... no, that is not pity, I just don't understand why she is doing it to him... she is still one of my friends, I knew her briefly in HS, and I lived with them when I was in NYC for a bit
- Raven's job is not steady enough to really provide any cash to the "house" fund.
- My job is just pissing me off... I really didn't want to have to rely on Radioshack... it just bugs me...BTW, Steve... I still love ya man, you were the only Radioshack manager that I would leave the company if you left... and I mean that.
- I have found other jobs more recently... possibly something in my field... the pay is okay .... one of the jobs is just building/repairing computers (the name of the place is called Seneca Data). Its fairly mindless from the description I got, but even still its at least something kinda nifty and the pay is right.... I just may do it, i have a few more things to think about before I make a jump like that... but I really need something more steady, NOT dealing with customers for a while. I just dont want to leave my current manager in a ridiculously hard place and I want to give as much notice as possible... i dunno... its hard to really figure out what I should do, but ultimately the decision is mine to make and I have to be concerned with my own well being... and everyone in the rest of my house.
... that pretty much sums things up for right now..
i suppose.
maybe more later
==Chevelle - Straight Jacket Fashon==
Currently playing in the background
I haven't given up yet...
So yeah, there have been quite a few things going on in my life right now... and there have been some changes...
The apartment I was going to move into, kinda fell through, but now I am in a different place... on Tipperary hill, the most Irish part of Syracuse, for those who are not familiar with the area. Which honestly is quite nice, and has come back in more recent years. I lived in this area when I was very young, one street over from where I am now.
I'm still working at the same radioshack I went to at the beginning of the summer... though I have stopped the landscaping (and construction in the winter), due to stress and lack of hours... so I took on more hours at the shack.
I have also started going back to school, at ITT Technical... I really want that fucking piece of paper. I'm doing well in classes so far (we are on week 4/5 of I think 12).
I am actually getting days off during the week, this is a plus.
But i'm still stressed...
too stressed, even for me....
I dunno, I can't tell you how many times I just feel like letting go of the steering wheel sometimes when I drive... just to see what would actually happen.... but the sad part is, that I know what would happen...
A- IF i live... which I probably would *unless I went off a cliff or something*
- I would have an ASS-LOAD of medical bills that would probably never get paid off...
- I would have my family questioning my mental stability (as if they don't by now)
- I would have to spend more time out of school
- I would probably be in a wheelchair or something like that.. just from the number of injuries
- I would also have people bending over backwards trying to help me... fuck off... I got this
B- IF i were to die...
- I would never fucking rest... EVER
- I'd probably have to deal with all the pain of watching over my family... and their sorrow... yadayadayada... yeah NO.
- When some of my family did finally reach me... that'd be great to explain huh? and I couldn't even have an excuse like... "its a long story" cuz its fucking eternity.... ya got nothing but time.
I don't like those results...
hmmm... onward to next thought....
I wonder if it is possible to elminate most of the stress in life with money... I hope so.
that could be a semi-attainable goal.... no bills, no stress there.... everything else is easier (or at least coming from only one or two places). Shit, if I didn't have any bills to worry about, things would be VERY different:
**ENTER DREAM SEQUENCE MUSIC** (ya know like wayne's world)
Matt comes home from work... sits down, and enjoy's his evening with his roommates and girlfriend... knowing all bills are paid, has a full (or at least semi-full) tank of gas, and a very healthy and fast computer. He then turns on the TV for a little while, enjoys a movie, maybe some interesting tv show, sits in front of the 'puter for a bit, has a meal, has some intimate time, and then goes to sleep..... goes to work, and somewhat enjoy's it... goes to leave...forgets the bad moments of the day, and goes home... repeat from top 5 out of 7 days per week.
**EXIT DREAM SEQUENCE MUSIC**
yeah, see, is that so hard... what the fuck, I don't want a lot... just to be comfortable... I don't need retarded amounts of stuff, every cool little toy on the market, or cutting edge comptuer equipment in my apartment (though it would be nice, but not necessary).
I guess I gotta try harder... be more of a man, get a harder working job so I can afford those things....
yeah... im sure... then what...
... this is where most people get greedy, when they are comfortable... its all one big fuckin pattern, then they loose it all... just like at the casino's. Everyone says "nope, if I won (insert x amount of) dollars I'd walk away from the table". I hate to break it to you, but the fact of the matter stands... its a different situation once you have the chips/cash/whatever in your hands....
I guess its a paradox I am striving to be comfortable... but once I get there, there will be a new level of comfort I want.... maybe... I'm not really sure... I have had very few times in my life where I was actually comfortable, I really don't honestly know what it is like.
I guess it would take a LOT of money in one HUGE lump sum to really make that happen.... mega millions? (NYS Lottery)
God the list I could make just of the things I would do with that kind of cash....
(I'll make a generalized one for length reasons)
- Pay off all bills of mine, my girlfriend Raven's, Parents, and closer friends... I would also help out a few of my really close friends that are either getting married or having children a little more than a few others.
- Hand the deed of my Mom's house to Mom and Gary (they still got another 20 years on their mortgage I think).
- Give both of my parents money for my younger siblings to go to college with.
- Buy a place to put my 1979 Cougar, and soup-up little Svetty (my 91 saab) to do some pretty cool shit (turbo anyone?).
- Get some nifty computer upgrades and a nice desk/computer area.
- CONTINUE TO LIVE IN THE SAME PLACE
- Hire 2 people... one to clean my house now and again (no live in people would be necessary) and the other to invest my money and help out charities....
And here's the kicker... all the things I would do before I put all the money in the bank/investments would probably only amount to $500,000 (or maybe slightly more)... the investments I would live off of the rest of my life... and yes, I would
- Finish School
- WORK until I was much older
- be WISE with the money
- Pay it forward (see movie of the same title... great flick... kinda sad)
well out I go for a smoke... I'll probably finish the "updates" post at some point in time.... I apologize for that....
for those that may actually care.
Matt-
The apartment I was going to move into, kinda fell through, but now I am in a different place... on Tipperary hill, the most Irish part of Syracuse, for those who are not familiar with the area. Which honestly is quite nice, and has come back in more recent years. I lived in this area when I was very young, one street over from where I am now.
I'm still working at the same radioshack I went to at the beginning of the summer... though I have stopped the landscaping (and construction in the winter), due to stress and lack of hours... so I took on more hours at the shack.
I have also started going back to school, at ITT Technical... I really want that fucking piece of paper. I'm doing well in classes so far (we are on week 4/5 of I think 12).
I am actually getting days off during the week, this is a plus.
But i'm still stressed...
too stressed, even for me....
I dunno, I can't tell you how many times I just feel like letting go of the steering wheel sometimes when I drive... just to see what would actually happen.... but the sad part is, that I know what would happen...
A- IF i live... which I probably would *unless I went off a cliff or something*
- I would have an ASS-LOAD of medical bills that would probably never get paid off...
- I would have my family questioning my mental stability (as if they don't by now)
- I would have to spend more time out of school
- I would probably be in a wheelchair or something like that.. just from the number of injuries
- I would also have people bending over backwards trying to help me... fuck off... I got this
B- IF i were to die...
- I would never fucking rest... EVER
- I'd probably have to deal with all the pain of watching over my family... and their sorrow... yadayadayada... yeah NO.
- When some of my family did finally reach me... that'd be great to explain huh? and I couldn't even have an excuse like... "its a long story" cuz its fucking eternity.... ya got nothing but time.
I don't like those results...
hmmm... onward to next thought....
I wonder if it is possible to elminate most of the stress in life with money... I hope so.
that could be a semi-attainable goal.... no bills, no stress there.... everything else is easier (or at least coming from only one or two places). Shit, if I didn't have any bills to worry about, things would be VERY different:
**ENTER DREAM SEQUENCE MUSIC** (ya know like wayne's world)
Matt comes home from work... sits down, and enjoy's his evening with his roommates and girlfriend... knowing all bills are paid, has a full (or at least semi-full) tank of gas, and a very healthy and fast computer. He then turns on the TV for a little while, enjoys a movie, maybe some interesting tv show, sits in front of the 'puter for a bit, has a meal, has some intimate time, and then goes to sleep..... goes to work, and somewhat enjoy's it... goes to leave...forgets the bad moments of the day, and goes home... repeat from top 5 out of 7 days per week.
**EXIT DREAM SEQUENCE MUSIC**
yeah, see, is that so hard... what the fuck, I don't want a lot... just to be comfortable... I don't need retarded amounts of stuff, every cool little toy on the market, or cutting edge comptuer equipment in my apartment (though it would be nice, but not necessary).
I guess I gotta try harder... be more of a man, get a harder working job so I can afford those things....
yeah... im sure... then what...
... this is where most people get greedy, when they are comfortable... its all one big fuckin pattern, then they loose it all... just like at the casino's. Everyone says "nope, if I won (insert x amount of) dollars I'd walk away from the table". I hate to break it to you, but the fact of the matter stands... its a different situation once you have the chips/cash/whatever in your hands....
I guess its a paradox I am striving to be comfortable... but once I get there, there will be a new level of comfort I want.... maybe... I'm not really sure... I have had very few times in my life where I was actually comfortable, I really don't honestly know what it is like.
I guess it would take a LOT of money in one HUGE lump sum to really make that happen.... mega millions? (NYS Lottery)
God the list I could make just of the things I would do with that kind of cash....
(I'll make a generalized one for length reasons)
- Pay off all bills of mine, my girlfriend Raven's, Parents, and closer friends... I would also help out a few of my really close friends that are either getting married or having children a little more than a few others.
- Hand the deed of my Mom's house to Mom and Gary (they still got another 20 years on their mortgage I think).
- Give both of my parents money for my younger siblings to go to college with.
- Buy a place to put my 1979 Cougar, and soup-up little Svetty (my 91 saab) to do some pretty cool shit (turbo anyone?).
- Get some nifty computer upgrades and a nice desk/computer area.
- CONTINUE TO LIVE IN THE SAME PLACE
- Hire 2 people... one to clean my house now and again (no live in people would be necessary) and the other to invest my money and help out charities....
And here's the kicker... all the things I would do before I put all the money in the bank/investments would probably only amount to $500,000 (or maybe slightly more)... the investments I would live off of the rest of my life... and yes, I would
- Finish School
- WORK until I was much older
- be WISE with the money
- Pay it forward (see movie of the same title... great flick... kinda sad)
well out I go for a smoke... I'll probably finish the "updates" post at some point in time.... I apologize for that....
for those that may actually care.
Matt-
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